Put someone on the naughty list!

Things are running a bit behind here at the North Pole this year, the Naughty list isn't up to date and unless you help it might not be ready to load the sleigh on Christmas Eve.

Thankfully, the techno-elves have come up with a great solution! They've devised a great programme that enables you to tell me of someone who's been naughty this year.

All you need to do is go to Santa's Naughty List here, fill in the very short form and it will automatically tell me who should be getting a lump of coal this Christmas!

I'll then send them an email telling them off for being naughty!

Don't worry it's anonymous so they won't know it's you that's told on them!

Thanks for your help!

Santa

Nasa go to the moon and the nice list.

It's nice when somebody whom I'd previously put on the Naughty List manages to redeem themselves and get back on to the Nice list.

NASA have just done that..

Todays announcement that they are planning to set up an International base on the moon within the next 15 years is exacly the sort of stuff that Nasa should be doing (not losing tapes of the original moon landing!). Talking about astronomical (get it?) costs can wait. Today is a day to just contemplate the acheivements of man.

NASA is there to capture our imaginations, to dream of the impossible and make it a reality and today guys you did just that. Welcome back to the nice list.

Santa.

A smoker on the nice list?

I wouldn't normally put a smoker on the nice list because I think its a disgusting, harmful addiction. But I was amused by the hulaballoo surrounding Scott Rodrigues of Buzzards Bay Massachusetts.

Scott was fired from his job as a gardener by The Scotts Company when he failed the companies drug testing policy. His urine tested positive for nicotine. The company has a policy of not hiring smokers even though this is illegal discrimination in 30 of the 50 states. Albeit Mass. isn't one of them.

Rodrigues has opted to sue his former employer under civil rights and privacy legistlation touting the novel idea that what he does in his own time, as long as it's not illegal, is and should be, his own business.

Even better though was the revelation that Scott was trying to quit at the time and to assist had been chewing nicotine gum on his way to the test!

Just for the sheer irony, he gets a spot on the nice list.

Santa.

Michael Richards on the naughty list.

You probably best know him as Kramer from much loved TV show Seinfeld.

Guests at LA comedy club The Laugh Factory last Friday night on the other hand know Micheal Richards as an obscene racist.

Facing heckling from two black audience members, Richards completely lost it on stage and launched a racist, obscene, vile tirade at Frank Mcbride and Kyle Doss. Richards claimed provocation - They claimed he wasn't funny. I think he proved them right.

Richards first move was to hire PR expert Howard Rubenstein and since then he's been following the in-trouble celebrity's mantra, apologise quickly and often. Rev. Jeese Jackson took the opportunity to deliver a public dressing down on his Radio show and Richards has also expressed contrition on the Letterman Show but it may not be enough to save his career. It's hard not question his sincerity, is he really sorry for the wrong he did? Or is he just sorry for the damage he's done to his career?

Either way, when Mel Gibson feels sorry for you, you know that you're in trouble.

It does raise the question, why do we expect TV and movie stars to be role models?The assumption that there is inherent goodness there, or even a modicum of wisdom, is as flawed as confusing fiction with life. We got to look at a tiny real-life slice of Michael Richards, and what emerged is a new image that will be hard to erase: KKKramer.

Santa.

BA stands for Bad Attitude?

Keep this up and people are going to think that Santa has a problem with the Worlds Airlines. Because after adding the loathsome Michael O'Leary and his equally loathsome Ryan Air to the Naughty List I find myself left with no choice but to add British Airways to it too!

This time though BA's actions have identified a candidate for the Nice List as well...in the form of The Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams who stood up to the airline on a point of principle and forced them to back down in a row over whether a check-in worker could openly wear a crucifix on a necklace at work.

British Airway had banned Nadia Eweida from wearing her necklace on the grounds that it "could cause offense". Quite how a tiny symbol of Nancy's Christian faith could cause offense is beyond Santa but BA despite being happy to profit by selling similar items in its duty free service felt that it could.

Up stepped Archbishop Dr Williams who rightly pointed out to BA that the Church owns $20million dollars worth of shares in BA amongst its investment portfolio not to mention having sway with the congregation of the Church of England and the 77million members of the worldwide Anglican community. In the face of such a threat BA appear to be reviewing its policy regarding their tolerance towards religious symbolism.

Not before time either, especially for an airline that carries the flags of St George, St Andrew and St Patrick on their tail fins!

Clearly British Airways hadn't kept their moral compasses pointed at the North Pole. Lets hope they have learned their lesson.

love

Santa.

Britney Spears Kevin.

The theme of Santa's Naughty or Nice list today is modern life.

We've seen both Britney Spears and soon to be ex-husband K-Fed land on the Naughty list this week. Britney in one of the most souless acts since her last divorce, decided that Text message was the appropriate forum to disolve her marriage. And then went ice skating.

For his part Kevin didn't seem too upset. If shouting from a stage the next day "you know I'm free man, right, ladies? You wanna dance with a pimp?" was in any way an indication....

Both have been Naughty and both will find Santa's Christmas sack a very lonely place.

On the positive side, Santa would like to throw his weight behind the Gadget Shows campaign for free Wifi across the UK's towns and cities. Such technology cost the city of Norwich around 1.5million so it is possible. We'd now like to see it everywhere else. Join the campaign by going to http://gadgetshow.five.tv/campaign/wifi/


Keep those moral compasses pointed at the North Pole.

Santa.

Double Exposure for Miss Great Britain.

Danielle Lloyd - winner of this year's Miss Great Britain has talked herself onto Santa's Naughty List!

It's probably a good thing that they don't include an IQ test along with the world peace speaches and swimwear contest because if they did, she most likely wouldn't have got near the crown in the first place.

Danielle's crime? Well it isn't appearing topless in Playboy (although she has done that too!) no it's going out with West Ham United striker Teddy Sherringham. Dating West Ham footballer's won't in itself earn you a lump of coal on Christmas morning (the Elf council voted against my view on that one!) but when that aforementioned footballer was one of the judges at the Miss Great Britain contest and in fact the only one that voted for Miss Lloyd then questions start getting asked.

Miss Lloyd maintained that she only met him after the February event but there are three of us that know different. You see, Miss Lloyd's Christmas present last year was a pair of $10000 Jimmy Choo shoes courtesy of Teddy...two months before the contest....

She was due a lump of coal anyway for the deceit but I prefer to let the cheats expose themselves...it's a skill proving useful for Miss Lloyd after her Playboy shoot. And she exposed herself again in a magazine interview when she unwittingly revealed her Christmas secret. Leading to her being stripped of her title. Your stockings won't be quiet so desirable this Christmas dear...

Santa.